Question: Reflect on the societal problems faced by China and America. (Hint: you must definitely explain your responses to these societal problems. How can they be resolved? Who should be responsible for resolving these issues?)
China and America are renowned economic superpowers of the world. However, upon closer scrutiny, it is clear that both giants are facing societal problems which threaten to disrupt their economy.
One of the most worrying societal problems in China is the people’s disillusionment with the government. I believe the causes of this issue lie in the widening income gap which signifies an almost unbridgeable gulf between the rich and the poor, as well as the government’s apparent lack of transparency. In addition, China accentuates so much on economic development that it sets aside insufficient budget to be used as social safety net for the population, thereby exacerbating
the problem.
I am very perturbed by this issue because the government is responsible for looking after its people, but it has evidently failed to deliver. Its lack of urgency in tackling this problem is appalling too as it must foresee the repercussions of the problem, including the rich becoming wealthier and the poor continuing to languish at the bottom of society. If unresolved, these can lead to an unsalvageable debacle.
It is important for the Chinese government to cease remonstrations as they will affect China's economic and social stability. Hence, the government should first step in and soothe the anger of demonstrators. However, this will only grant China a reprieve. A permanent solution is what China is seeking for. To me, the secret to restoring order in China lies in trust as I staunchly believe that mutual trust between the government and its people will increase the confidence of the latter regarding the former's ability to cater to its welfare. Only then will protests be quelled and stability be restored in China.
An alternative approach the government can consider is to increase its transparency. Unequivocally, the veil of secrecy over the government’s role sparked off social unrests, as the government had failed to account for the implementation of controversial policies which neglected the rights of minorities, as well as actions such as land seizures which robbed the impoverished of their major source of income, affecting their livelihood. If the government earnestly wants to reconcile with the population, it should justify its actions so as to connect with the people. The Chinese will then realise the government's far-sightedness manifested in its strategies, something which they will eventually benefit from. From another standpoint, the government can revamp its legal system so that harsher punishment can be meted out and this will act as an effective deterrent for corruptive officials. These reforms will enable the government to regain the trust and support of its citizens and allow China to re-embark on its quest to become the world’s greatest economic superpower, backed by united citizens.
On the other end of the globe, America is facing societal problems too, the most significant one being its plummeting academic rankings. This speaks much about the incompetency of products of America’s education system, and I believe the causes of this problem include the high attrition rate of teachers which resulted in the decline in quality of American education, as well as the parenting style in most American families.
I am shocked about this phenomenon because many of the world’s top universities are situated in America, hence the country should be capable of providing quality education. More importantly, America’s future will be dependent on its talent pool, hence it must brainstorm solutions to rectify this issue.
To resolve the high attrition rate of teachers, the American government can consider allocating more funds for upgrading the training program for teachers because this will increase their competency and enable them to assimilate into their teaching environment. Teachers will also discover the joy of teaching, hence will less likely succumb to pressure and resign from their posts which may jeopardise the future of students. In addition, American parents should place less emphasis on self-esteem of their children because it should not stymie their paths to success. Being beneficiaries of education remains the priority as this will improve the children's future prospects and enable them to carve out promising careers. Therefore, parents should seek to stretch their children to their limits and ensure that they benefit greatly from America's education system. I believe the collaboration between government and parents in America will transform students into promising individuals, invariably propelling America’s academic rankings and expanding its talent pool, hence faciliting its economic growth.
In conclusion, a society forms the basis of a country's economy, hence China and America must alleviate their societal problems to consolidate their statuses as economic superpowers. However, obstacles such as mindsets ingrained in citizens will stand in the way of reforms, hence as of now, only one thing is clear: the relentless search for the panacea will go on, and only time will tell. (800 words)
Hi Dewei,
ReplyDeleteI like that you managed to consider your chosen problems from more than one perspective. However, there are some areas which I feel you can expound on to a greater degree.
Firstly, you said that the problem of disillusionment with the Government was caused by income disparity. I feel you should explain more about how you came to that conclusion, as we have not discussed disillusionment with the Government in class. I feel it could be a very interesting point, and provide a new perspective on the issue, but it is not immediately apparent how the two issues are interlinked, and I feel you can flesh out this particular idea more by explaining how you arrived at the conclusion.
I like that you managed to provide a detailed description of your proposed solution as it is much easier for me to understand. However, I think it is rather inappropriate to bring up the point about corruption without first introducing your opinions on corruption in China and briefly describing the problem.
Also, with regards to your second point, I think you can talk more about the parenting styles of American parents and how this affects their children. I didn't really understand what you meant by that brief statement "American parents should place less emphasis on self-esteem of their children because it should not stymie their paths to success". Firstly, how is this a problem, and secondly, if this is a problem, what do you think could be a solution?
I think the main problem with your reflections is that you tried to fit too much into a word limit, such that each idea, although good, is not fully developed and explained in detail. This results in a rather ambiguous summary of your viewpoints, with a lack of depth. In my opinion, depth is more important than breadth as depth reflects the extent of your critical thinking abilities, which this assignment is meant to bring out. As such, I feel you should choose one problem for each country, and analyse the cause you feel is most significant.
Daniel Tan (3S105)
Hello Dewei,
ReplyDeleteI want to first commend you on your style of writing. The words you have used are very appropriate and your sentence structure is flawless, it has been a joy to read partly because of the ease in which I am able to understand your ideas. Your paragraphing is also very well done with clear distinctions between points, conclusions and your personal thoughts. So well done!
Content wise, I feel that the points you have brought up are very relevant and valid. After all corruption and the income disparity are very pertinent issues currently in China. In fact the two problems have even been shown to be interrelated where most wealthy families with in usually have connections with the government. In the case of America, the falling academic ranking among its educational institutes is a very real situation as well. However while the points raised are valid, I feel you have a lot to be desired in terms of elaboration.
For example, on your point on the income disparity in China, you did not actually provide some concrete solutions and instead provided sweeping statements without substantiating them. All I had gained from the one paragraph worth of solutions is that the government and people should work together to combat income disparity. Such suggestions are but for show and really are of no use. You should haveThank provided some examples to show how through working together, the government and people can narrow the income gap. The government could for instance help provide the poor with more subsidies and incentives to reduce their burden while placing more taxes on the rich so that there is a fairer balance. On the other hand the people of a higher income group have to be understanding and struggle a bit for the good of their country.
As for your point on the American societal problem of falling academic standards, while I find your solutions provided really adequate and well stated, I feel that you have failed to identify why this is a problem in the first place. I feel that your point on how low academic standards would lead to a lower skilled workforce is very shaky. After all many other factors like problem solving skills, creativity and outside of text experience play attributing roles too. Solely relying on a test score would certainly not be doing the American workforce justice. You could have pointed out other points like how with lower scores, the credibility of the once mighty American education system would drop. This would invariably lead to lower rate of foreign influx into the country and universities for America. I feel that such an effect would be more apparent and relevant to this current problem.
Thank you,
Benedict Lim Gin Hong (3S102)
Hi Dewei,
ReplyDeleteOverall, I feel that the reflective journal you wrote is quite well done as you have briefly explained the societal problem each country is facing and you have mostly gave your feelings towards the issue and also came up with solution. However, I do have a few suggestions for you to consider.
Firstly, regarding your introduction, I feel that you might want to list out the points you are going to talk about as in that way, the readers would then be able to get a clearer picture. In addition, you state that China’s societal problem is the disillusionment of the government and you raised the issue on corruption. I agree with you that it is a valid point, but I feel that talking about the protests by the workers due to low wages and poor working conditions might be a stronger point as it can clearly show the displeasure of the people towards the government.
Secondly, I feel that even though you have came up with solutions for each of the societal problems faced by China and America respectively, you have only focused on how China and America can solve their own societal problems. A suggestion I would like to make to you is that perhaps you can consider exploring how China and America can help solve each other societal issues as I am sure they definitely have some valuable lessons to share with each other.
Thirdly, I feel that the societal problems were explained too briefly as you only used one or two lines to talk about the issue, thus it is not convincing for the readers. I suggest that you might want to cite statistics to prove that the particular societal problem is indeed affecting the country greatly. In that case, the readers would be more convinced as they would be able to see more clearly how the societal problem of each country affects them respectively.
In conclusion, I feel that you have done relatively well for the reflective journal as I have seen many personal responses you gave about the issue. However, I feel that statistical data can be provided to give readers a clearer picture and also you might also want to explore how China and America can help each other in solving the societal problems.
Zhaofeng
Hi Dewei,
ReplyDeleteFirst and foremost, I like the way you have structured your reflective journal. Your paragraphs are structured into introducing the societal problem, what is your feelings and opinion and last but not least the possible solution. This structure has made it easier for the readers to understand what are you trying to convey in each paragraph and it is also easier for the reader to grasp general concepts.
However, moving into the details, I find that your reflective journal lacks a key element: elaboration. There are many instances in your reflective journal where you do not elaborate on a certain concept or idea or problem. The reader might not be able to clearly understand as they might not be able to link key concepts together due to lack of details and elaboration. I believe that this is because you have tried to cram too many ideas into a 800 word limit. Although it is good to be able to understand multiple concepts, I believe that the 800 word limit is to encourage us to explore into individual points and probe us to critically analyse each point. Maybe you could learn from Daniel who only chose one societal problem for each country but explained his ideas in great depth.
In conclusion, I feel that you have done a great job, as always. Keep up the good work!
Guan Hong